

＄94-01-53-04-1-1
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[charaSet A 1098116700 1 "Warden Medb"]
[charaSet B 4018001 1 "Vice-Warden Quetzalcoatl"]

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“Ruling and riding with a smile!” has always been Queen Medb's motto, but lately, something has been weighing on her mind.
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＠Warden Medb
(Sigh) ...
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＠Vice-Warden Quetzalcoatl
What's the matter, boss?[sr]Why the long face?
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This is Medb's right-hand woman;[sr]a (self-proclaimed) goddess from Mexico.
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As it would be unacceptable for anyone to have higher standing than the queen in this country, the self-proclaimed part is a necessary contrivance.
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＠Warden Medb
I was just thinking about those...things[sr]that have been paved all across my kingdom.
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＠Vice-Warden Quetzalcoatl
Ah, you went on another patrol? I think it's great how you're so enthusiastic about your work, yes!
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＠Warden Medb
Well I don't! Hmph...[sr]How dare they cover Connacht in those eyesores!
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＠Warden Medb
This is MY land, dammit.
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＠Warden Medb
At least they haven't made their way to this prison yet, but if they do start showing up here, then...
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＠Vice-Warden Quetzalcoatl
(Murmur) Hmm, I don't think we have to worry about that.
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＠Vice-Warden Quetzalcoatl
(Murmur) Those aren't being used to control this place. They're just making a track to race on.
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＠Vice-Warden Quetzalcoatl
(Murmur) A circuit, yes!
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＠Warden Medb
Ugh, just thinking about them pisses me the hell off.[sr][charaFace A 6]Hm? Did you say something?
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＠Vice-Warden Quetzalcoatl
Nope, no dije nada!
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＠Warden Medb
By the way...how's the interrogation going on those prisoners I captured the other day? They seem like they'd know something, but since I've been letting you handle the whole thing, I have no idea what you might've learned.
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＠Vice-Warden Quetzalcoatl
Bien! Of course it's going great! I've been putting them all through rigorous interrogations every day.
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＠Vice-Warden Quetzalcoatl
Unfortunately, they're so tough that I haven't learned anything yet, no! No wonder those Heroic Spirits managed to conquer your nation.
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＠Vice-Warden Quetzalcoatl
I'm sorry, Medb. I'm afraid I'm going to need more time to get something conclusive out of them.
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＠Warden Medb
I know there's no possible way they could ever escape this prison, so technically, we can afford to take our time...
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＠Warden Medb
But I just can't stand the thought of those things being plastered all over my kingdom.
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＠Warden Medb
Hurry up and get them to tell you how to peel those things off as soon as you can!
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＠Vice-Warden Quetzalcoatl
Understood.[sr]Your wish is my command, boss.
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＠Warden Medb
Grr. This whole thing has me annoyed... Actually, I'm horny. Hey, you're still training the prisoners, right?
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＠Vice-Warden Quetzalcoatl
Naturally! Pounding the art of lucha into as many people as possible is the primary reason that I'm here, yes!
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＠Warden Medb
Then bring me your most promising trainees right now.[sr]I'll take them on myself.
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＠Vice-Warden Quetzalcoatl
Oh gosh... To be honest, I'd really rather not squander my most promising trainees' potential like that.
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＠Vice-Warden Quetzalcoatl
If they go up against you, you'll either break them, or they'll get so caught up in your nighttime lucha that it'll throw off their training balance.
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＠Vice-Warden Quetzalcoatl
...Hmm, then again, if that's all it would take to stop them, they might not ever be able to become true warriors anyway. Wait right here while I go and get them!
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That just shows what a wonderful queen we have. No matter how busy she may be, or how mind-numbingly difficult a problem she may be tackling, she still takes time to directly interact with her prisoners as much as possible.
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What kindness, what mercy, what devotion to equality.
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She is truly a warden among wardens, a queen among queens. No one is better suited to rule this kingdom than her.
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Now, let's enjoy watching the queen's personal rehab program for ourselves. (Child-Safe Filter: ON)
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＠Warden Medb
Whew.
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＠Vice-Warden Quetzalcoatl
Great job, boss. Feeling better now?
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＠Warden Medb
Of course not. This didn't help resolve the problem outside the prison walls at all.
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＠Warden Medb
Did make for a good workout though. And hey, look at the time. I'd better get back to my office for a shower.
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Taking a shower in her office at the same time every day is another invaluable part of the queen's routine.
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In the queen's own words: “There's no telling when the trap I've laid outside might catch the guy I've had my eye on, right? I've got to be ready to go at any time!”
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What a brilliant example of risk management[sr](read: the mind of a thirsty young woman).
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To all you viewers, if you see the queen's prey anywhere, make sure to call in and let us know right away.
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And don't bother trying to catch him for yourself. His Evade performance make him harder to catch than his 3☆ rating would imply.
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Be on the lookout for blue hair, squinted eyes, a red spear, and possibly a druid staff. Keep in mind that he may appear younger than you might expect.
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He is also known to occasionally become a Berserker,[sr]so use extreme caution when approaching him.
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Queen Medb makes sure to shower at the exact same time every day. Given how hectic her schedule is, it is one of her precious few chances to take a well-earned break.
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Now, let's just sit back and enjoy the sound of water hitting the queen's perfect body.
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＠Warden Medb
Hm hm hm hmmm♪
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