＄94-03-22-09-1-0
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[charaSet A 5003000 1 Tamamo-no-Mae]
[charaSet B 1037000 1 Beni-Enma]
[charaSet C 1098162000 1 Mash]
[charaSet D 5023000 1 Helena]
[charaSet E 4009200 1 Anne]
[charaSet F 4009100 1 Mary]
[charaSet G 11004001 1 Gorgon]
[charaSet H 1098155100 1 Tristan]
[charaSet I 4009000 1 "Anne & Mary"]
[charaSet J 5009000 1 "Effect Dummy"]

[scene 69600]

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[charaTalk A]
[charaFace A 0]
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＠Tamamo-no-Mae
Oh, hello, Master.[sr]No Mash with you today?
[k]

？1：Well, funny story...
？2：She took one look at this poster, and, well...

？！

[charaFace A 5]

＠Tamamo-no-Mae
Poster...?[sr]Oh, yes, I see it now.
[k]

＠Tamamo-no-Mae
Hmm... To celebrate the newly expanded kitchen, and due to popular demand, we are pleased to announce...
[k]

[charaFace A 2]

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＠Tamamo-no-Mae
...[messageShake 0.05 8 6 0.8]Jigoku Kitchen is back for a limited time!?[sr]What madman thought this was a good idea!?
[k]


＠Tamamo-no-Mae
Wait. Don't tell me Mash willingly signed up for it!?
[k]

[charaFace A 3]

＠Tamamo-no-Mae
Oops. I don't usually lose it like that.[sr]I'm very sorry.
[k]

[charaFace A 1]

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＠Tamamo-no-Mae
Allow me to explain! Jigoku Kitchen is the[sr]name of Ms. Beni-Enma's cooking class!
[k]

＠Tamamo-no-Mae
Everyone who attends it goes to hell, regardless of how long they've been married or how bad they are in the kitchen.
[k]

＠Tamamo-no-Mae
It's a place that makes full use of the judge of hell's authority! It's the most devilishly difficult culinary boot camp ever...
[k]

＠Tamamo-no-Mae
An entirely different layer of hell that will train any amateur cook into a full-blown chef☆
[k]

？1：Sounds like fun!
？2：So they'll be done in, say, a couple of hours tops?

？！

[charaFace A 2]

＠Tamamo-no-Mae
We're not talking about some[sr]community college workshop here!
[k]

＠Tamamo-no-Mae
I can tell from your expression that you think they're just going to go over different cooking techniques...
[k]

＠Tamamo-no-Mae
...but Ms. Beni-Enma does NOT deal in theory!
[k]

＠Tamamo-no-Mae
If you want to learn her best recipes, how to tell good tools from bad, what seasonings to use, and other useful tidbits...
[k]

＠Tamamo-no-Mae
...you'll need to brave the gauntlet and[sr]become a first-class tormentor demon first!
[k]

＠Tamamo-no-Mae
I must emphasize that Ms. Beni's teaching methods are considered to be particularly brutal IN HELL. Mash might not even survive to the end of the class!
[k]

？1：Wha...
？2：Why didn't you say so sooner!?

？！

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[charaTalk B]
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＠Beni-Enma
So you're the new would-be cooks who still don't know the difference between a ladle and a serving spoon.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
I'm Beni-Enma, the Tongue-Cut Sparrow.[sr]Here, you will call me “Teacher.”
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
Now let's see... It looks like we have six students this time. Why don't you go around and introduce yourselves? You go first.
[k]

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[charaTalk C]
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＠Mash
Yes, Teacher! My name is Mash Kyrielight!
[k]

[charaFace C 7]

＠Mash
I've been wanting to learn how to cook for some time now, so when I saw the poster for this class, I decided today's the day!
[k]

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[charaTalk B]
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＠Beni-Enma
You've got a good look in your eye for a new recruit.[sr]I'm going to enjoy getting you into shape. Next!
[k]

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＠Helena
I'm Helena Blavatsky! I signed up because[sr]I thought it seemed kind of interesting!
[k]

[charaFace D 0]

＠Helena
Besides, a proper lady needs to know how[sr]to cook at least a little, right?
[k]

＠Helena
One certainly can't get by with sandwiches EVERY day!
[k]

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[charaTalk B]
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＠Beni-Enma
...I see. Kind of interesting, huh.[sr]Next?
[k]

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＠Anne
I'm Anne Bonny!
[k]

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＠Mary
And I'm Mary Read. We signed up together.
[k]

[charaFace F 1]

＠Mary
The poster got us thinking that we've[sr]never actually cooked anything before.
[k]

＠Mary
I always wanted to try, and besides, Tamamo Cat always seems to have a lot of fun in the kitchen.
[k]

＠Anne
Well that's not quite right. I don't know about you, but I've cooked before, Mary.
[k]

＠Anne
Cooking's when you have someone put different dishes on the table for you, right?
[k]

[charaFace F 0]

＠Mary
As you can see, I know nothing in the way of culinary technique, and Anne here used to be a pampered rich girl, so make sure you keep all that in mind.
[k]

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＠Beni-Enma
...I see. You thought cooking seemed fun, and it's just something that happens on its own, chirp chirp.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
Okay, who's next...?
[k]

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＠Gorgon
I was curious to see what this so-called hellish kitchen was like, but it's nothing but a big room.
[k]

＠Gorgon
It's far too small to serve as my temple, but I do enjoy the enticing smells coming from the back.
[k]

＠Gorgon
Very well then. Beni-Enma, was it?[sr]Show me what this supposed hell of yours is like.
[k]

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[charaTalk B]
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＠Beni-Enma
...And I see this student doesn't even understand the point of this class, chirp... And finally...
[k]

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[charaTalk H]
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＠Tristan
Alas... When last I came to,[sr]I found myself alone in this strange land...
[k]

[charaFace H 1]

＠Tristan
But this is a fine opportunity. It is most fortunate that there should be a cooking class here.
[k]

[charaFace H 6]

＠Tristan
Once I have mastered these expert culinary techniques,[sr]I too will be a traveling knight capable of cooking...
[k]

[charaFace H 2]

＠Tristan
“Sir Tristan! You know how to rid[sr]a gazer of its bitter aftertaste!?”
[k]

[charaFace H 7]

＠Tristan
“Heh... Not only that, I even know how to cook the tastiest wyvern wings...just like so.”
[k]

[charaFace H 1]

＠Tristan
“Oh my, how sharp of you, Tristan! You really are the coolest of the Knights of the Round Table.”
[k]

[charaFace H 6]

＠Tristan
Hehehe. I can see Sir Bedivere's shocked face the next time we go camping now...
[k]

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[charaTalk B]
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＠Beni-Enma
...we have a birdbrain who simply wants to show off his cooking skills to his colleagues.
[k]

[charaFace B 5]

＠Beni-Enma
All right, line up single file, cheep cheep.[sr]The only thing you need to say is “Yes, Teacher!”
[k]


＠All
[charaTalk C]
Yes, Teacher!
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
Don't even bother looking at the cooking instruments on the table. Just take up whatever weapon you feel most comfortable with.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
You have a very long battle ahead of you, chirp.
[k]

＠All
[charaTalk C]
Huh? Uh, yes, Teacher!
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
Now then, let me begin with a warning, chirp chirp.
[k]

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＠Beni-Enma
...[messageShake 0.05 8 6 0.8]Did you really think you would get to[sr]cook anything in this class!?
[k]

[charaFace B 5]

＠Beni-Enma
“Cooking is easy. All you need is a[sr]recipe, and the right ingredients.”
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
“I bet it won't even take me a whole day to learn.”
[k]

[charaFace B 2]

＠Beni-Enma
If that's the sort of thing you were thinking when you signed up, chirp, you're sorely mistaken!
[k]

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＠Beni-Enma
The only thing you're going to taste here[sr]is what it's like to be eaten yourselves!
[k]

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＠All
[charaTalk C]
Wait... Whaaaaaat!?
[k]

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＠Mash
Ow ow ow. I never expected the floor to open up underneath us like that... Um, what is this place...?
[k]

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＠Gorgon
...Are you awake? Then get on your feet[sr]and off my tail. I'm not a cushion.
[k]

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＠Mash
Oh, I'm sorry! Thank you for helping me, Gorgon!
[k]

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＠Helena
Hey, what's the big idea!?
[k]

＠Helena
I just signed up for this class so I could learn[sr]how to make an omelet and maybe eggs Benedict!
[k]

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＠Anne & Mary
Yeah! We just wanna know some quick and easy dishes made in three minutes or less like in commercials!
[k]

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＠Beni-Enma
Self-indulgent ways like that will get[sr]you nowhere fast in Jigoku Kitchen.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
Your first task is to survive on[sr]Hell Island for the next month!
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
The isolated village effect will keep time from passing while you're there, so don't worry about your tasks here.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
Chirp. Now, during your stay in cooking hell,[sr]you're going to learn three key principles.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
First: Cooking is politics!
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
For example, let's say there's some ultra-premium Matsusaka beef here. Who wouldn't want to cook with a first-class ingredient like this?
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
But there's only so many high-quality ingredients to go around. And some can't be bought no matter how much money you have, chirp.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
So if you're going to set a dinner table with the best possible food, money alone isn't going to cut it.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
You need to network with farms and farmers, exchange contact info with good greengrocers, get on good terms with wholesale markets...
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
Communication and negotiation skills are paramount. Chirp, as I said: politics. Chefs who neglect to play ball will never get the first pick of ingredients.
[k]

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＠Mash
Fascinating.
[k]

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＠Anne & Mary
But the whole reason we became pirates was to avoid pain-in-the-ass stuff like that!
[k]

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＠Beni-Enma
Second: Cooking is physics!
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
As I trust it goes without saying, cooking is the art of the practical, not the stuff of hopes and dreams.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
If you think you can just get started with cooking in the hope that it all turns out okay...
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
...the only dishes you'll be able[sr]to make will be bland fluff!
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
Chirp, before you begin cooking, you need a solid plan, solid measurements, and solid handling!
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
I know what you're thinking.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
You think cooking is like a routine, where chefs just make the same thing over and over, day in and day out.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
Chirp, that is where you're wrong![sr]Every dish a chef makes is its own work of art!
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
Like an author writing a different story with similar themes or events each and every day!
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
It takes a lot of mental and physical energy. In fact, cheep, it's even harder than training with a sword.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
Now that you've become students of the Enjaku Sewing technique, I will not be letting you off the hook with any easy dishes.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
Be prepared to lose a kilogram from your Spirit Origin for every meal plan you overcome!
[k]

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＠Helena
Are you kidding!? That's impossibly hard![sr]This isn't what I signed up fooor!
[k]

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＠Beni-Enma
Third: Cooking is effort!
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
“I wish I could cook, but I just don't have the knack.” “I followed the recipe perfectly, but it still didn't come out well.”
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
“It's so much trouble to keep things nutritionally balanced.” “I just don't want to spend so much time cooking.”
[k]

[charaFace B 2]

＠Beni-Enma
Aaarrrggghhh! I wish I could purge every last[sr]one of those sour grapes from existence!
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
The tastier a dish is, the more trouble it takes to make! That's just a fact, no matter how good you are!
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
Even when you find a new recipe, you need to read it all the way to the end and think about what it means.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
Chirp, you need to think about how you can make it with the ingredients you have on hand, how best to please the people who are going to eat it...
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
It's a story, and you need to write[sr]the whole thing beginning to end!
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
If you just go around thinking things like “I wish I could be a good cook” or “Knights who can cook are so cool”...
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
...then you'll never learn how to cook well!
[k]

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＠Tristan
...
[k]

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＠Beni-Enma
Now you listen to me, chirp. Cooking is not about talent. All you need is a will, and a way.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
Being a good cook means never skipping steps or cutting corners, even when doing the same prep work over and over. It means you keep moving forward a little bit at a time.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
As long as you have the courage to do that three times a day, every day, until you die, anyone can learn!
[k]

＠All
[charaTalk C]
All that (pain-in-the-ass work) until we die?
[k]

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＠Beni-Enma
Chirp, until you die.[sr]As long as we're alive, we will always need to eat.
[k]

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＠Beni-Enma
Your job now is to engrave these[sr]key principles into your souls.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
Think of this as homeroom right before classes begin.
[k]

＠Beni-Enma
Besides, compared to the beginner course you'll be doing later, this is no more than a tutorial! Chirp!
[k]

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＠Gorgon
We're surrounded by strange monsters! There really[sr]is no choice but to fight our way out of this.
[k]

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＠Mary
Ugh, next time we're sticking to piracy![sr]Why'd you have to suggest we sign up for this, Anne!?
[k]

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＠Anne
Don't blame me! You were the one who wanted to try this course! It was plain as the look on your face!
[k]

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＠Helena
I do have some misgivings about being in subterranean spaces for some inexplicable reason, but this is all going to help us learn how to cook, right!?
[k]

[charaFace D 2]

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＠Helena
Then I'll play along for as long as it takes![sr]Mash, I'm counting on you to handle the front line!
[k]

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＠J：Mash
R-right! I'll do my best to[sr]handle the defensive prep work!
[k]


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